consumedbyfire | Open rp post

(Tambë touches him and kisses him lightly throughout the night, resting in spurts. However each time Astaldo tenses, he holds him closer, stroking over his hair.

As the sun rose and spread light across the room, he smiles at the groan and kisses his lover deeply. Arin mews and toddles up to them, nestling against Astaldo's shoulder.)

[It was the best way to wake up. Held in his lover's arms and being nestled by a kitten. He smiled lazily, looking up at his lover with dark blue eyes.]

Good morning, love.

(Tambë chuckles and tucks his hair behind his ear. Arin presses a little nose against Astaldo's cheek, snuffling.)

Good morning. How did you sleep?

I think Arin is trying to keep you warm.

Really well. And he's doing a good job, he's so warm! I have you and him- how could I be cold?

[He smiled as he felt Arin lean his little fuzzy cheek against his neck.]

You would have to work hard to be cold. (Tambë kisses the side of Arin's head. He pulls Harya up too, resting him on his chest.)

How were your dreams?

[Astaldo snuggled up to his husband, slowly petting Harya gently.]

I dreamed I was out riding with Aredhel, back in Valinor. I couldn't catch her, she was always just in front of me and I kept reaching out- and right before I woke she vanished as if she had never been there.

(Harya yawns and blinks adorably sleepy eyes. Tambë frowns faintly and nudges his forehead against Astaldo's.)

You miss her.

Every day. I miss her, Turgon and Argon. I wish I could see them again. [He smiled as he leaned his head against Tambe's affectionately.]

I know I'll see them again some day.

(He knows the feeling, though he is lucky to have Etyangol. Tambë feels helpless where their siblings are concerned. He whispers against his lover's hair:)

You will, love. The Fëanorians do not deserve to be reunited, but my Fingon deserves to see his brothers and sister.

But my Maitimo deserves to see his mother at least. I know you must miss her every day. [And mothers are special. He would never believe that anyone didn't believe to be with their mother.]

Sometimes I imagine our mothers are waiting for us, keeping each other company and waiting on the shore.

...I do. Ammë is precious to me. I saw her shed more than a few tears over our choices. (And he doesn't want to remind her of dark times.) I hope they are keeping one another company. Ammë deserves that. She was wise; we should have allied with her.

When I said good bye to my mother, she told me that nothing could make her stop loving me. No matter how far I went, even when I made mistakes, I would still be her son. I am sure your mother feels the same.

[He teared up a little at the though, burying his face against his husband's chest.]

Because, my Finno, you are a son to make a mother proud. Your heart... Your mind... Are good. (He pales and looks away, unwilling to tell Astaldo that he feels he, personally, is the opposite. His heart and mind are twisted, corrupted.)

Tambe...[Astaldo cupped his husband's cheek with one of his hands, looking determined.]

I still love you no matter what. There are some things which can never change, some loves which will never fade or be broken.

I have no doubt, none whatsoever, that your mother still loves you and would be happy to welcome you back.

(He breathes in shakily and forces himself to meet Astaldo's gaze.)

It's...the madness. She knows of it. I don't want her to be afraid of me.

(It physically hurts him to think of Nerdanel fearing him.)

Thank you for saying so. I would love to see her again, but I can't be selfish, can I?

Your mother is strong. I'm not afraid of you. I don't think she would be either.

[It pains him to see that hurt inside of Tambe. He wishes he could make it all better with a kiss.]

She is. (He doesn't doubt that.) What we have is special, Finno. You've found a way to see through it all.

(Tambë swallows awkwardly.)

It would only be fair to let her make her choice.

Our love is special. We accept each other for who we are. [He smiled softly, tears at the corners of his eyes as he nodded.]

I'll be by your side- no matter what she decides. And I know my mother would welcome you.

I do not think I am deserving of what we have, but I know it exists. I know it is precious. (He gently wipes at one eye with his thumb.)

Do you really think so?

I know so. She always liked you- and thinking back at it I think she knew who I loved.

[He smiled softly, looking up at Tambe.]

She knew - ? (He cups one of Astaldo's cheeks, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone.) Then I shall tell her the truth of where I stand. It would be rude to avoid her.

I think she did. I remember how she always told me that I should hold to what I felt in my heart, even when it was difficult. She never wanted me to pretend to be anyone else.

[He just worried if Fingolfin would have been so accepting. While his father wasn't cruel, there was too much history between him and Feanor.]

I'll stand with you, holding your hand.

Her heart is like yours. So beautiful and accepting. (Tambë presses a kiss to Astaldo's chest, nuzzling close.) I love you the way you are, Finno. I will prove my loyalty to her and your father if he will give me a chance.

You make me happy- that is important to them. [Despite everything else, he knew that Fingolfin wouldn't deny his children something -or someone- who made them happy.]

He and my mother always told us to go after our hearts and never settle, that even if we couldn't have what or who we wanted, if we settled for something else it would make us unhappy in the end.

As it is to any parent. (Tambë doesn't doubt that about Fingolfin.) I will show them through my actions how I love you. That is the best I can give them.

(He shifts closer.) Are you unhappy?

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